Bible Study: LIVING FAMILY: BUILDING A STRONG FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

TOPIC:       BUILDING A STRONG FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

TEXT:         I Corin.7: 1-5; Eph. 5: 25-30; 6: 4; Col. 3: 19; I Peter 3: 7;  Ps. 133: 1;                     Gen. 2: 23-24; Deut.24: 5; 5: 16; Exod. 20: 12; Prov. 22: 6; 3: 1-7;                           31: 10-30; I Tim. 3: 2-5; Gen. 26: 12-14; 4: 14-20.

TEACHER:    DEACON MIKE OWOSENI

I. INTRODUCTION

A. Definition of Terms:

+ Build—Develop and grow something gradually, To form by putting together parts or materials Construct, Raise, Assemble, Set up, Mold…

+ Strong- Marked by great physical power, having moral or intellectual power, solid, firm, fit, sound, healthy, energetic…

+ Family—A group of people who are related to each other by blood/ kindred/ lineage/ ancestor/clan. A group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation such as Fellowship or Church. Former U.S. first lady Barbara Bush once said, “To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.” The family unit has been the foundational building block of all human civilizations. In fact, the health and well-being of a civilization are closely linked to the health and stability of marriage and family.

+ Living Family means Family that is alive, active, effective, vibrant, flourishing, succeeding, not dead, not asleep.

+ Relationship- State of having something in common/ shared interests, Affiliation, Agreement, Closeness, Togetherness…

B. Establishing a Happy, Godly, Strong Home/Family built on a solid foundation: Husband, Wife, and Children. There is no role in our modern society that suffers greater neglect as far as God is concerned than that of the Father. Not only has God given Men the privilege of imitating Him as a Father, But He has also placed upon the shoulders of Father's incredible responsibilities.

- Husband-Wife - By God’s standards, anyone who is a father should first be a husband (1 Cor 7:1-5). 

Therefore, being a responsible Father first necessitates being a good husband. One must Love, Honour, Nourish and Cherish his wife in every respect, give her 3As—Attention, Affection, and Appreciation, go on Vacations, keep relationship in the present (Eph 5: 25-30, Col 3:19, 1 Pet 3: 7), only then will one be prepared to be a good father. You must be missed when you are away.                                                                                           - Father-Children - It takes lots of patience to raise Children in a loving, Christ-honouring manner and treat them as Jesus the people He loves-Eph 6: 4. This is vital to their development. Children prayed for are always excellent, distinguished and fear God.

- The Christian Home (Gen 2: 23-24). Christians are in the world as Ambassadors for God, it is their role to represent the character, the will and the power of Jesus Christ, by our actions, words, principles, we are to win men and women for Christ and make them citizens of the kingdom of God. In this regard, Christian Parents have their first duty and supreme opportunity in the persons of their Children. The headquarters of their mission is the Home, therefore, the Christian home is an Embassy of God.

C. HOW DOES THE BIBLE DESCRIBE AN IDEAL/STRONG HOME/ FAMILY?

Husband toward his Wife—1Peter 3: 7-12

- Honour her, V. 7. Treat her like a Queen or Princess, Be a blessing to the kingdom of God and to your home.

- Love her (Eph5: 25). With divine love not with a limited human love. Let not marriage be the end of love but the beginning of love.

- Nourish her (Eph 5: 29). Take care of her physical needs.

 - Cleave to her, Cherish her (Genesis 2: 24). Embrace her, hold on to her.

- Praise her (Pro 31: 28). Compliment her always concerning her person and works, her hair-do…

- Satisfy her, Deut 24: 5, 1 Corinth 7: 4-5. Keep romance in your marriage

- Head/Lead her (Eph 5: 23, 1 Corinth 9: 5). Be a good guide of the marriage, be a leader by example, you must be missed when you are away, do not be a lion at home.

- Be clean always, appear charming/ delightful, your haircut, clean armpit, clean shave, make her proud of you always.

Wife, her qualities (Proverbs 31: 10-31)

- Her price is far above rubies, verse 10. Pamper him, let him reign, treat him like a king, kaabiyesi o,

- Her husband does safely trust in her, v. 11.

- She will do him good all the days of her life v.12. Stop abusing him.

- She works willingly with her hands, v. 13.

- With her hands, she plants a vineyard, v. 16.

- Her husband praises her, v. 28. Be an award-winning wife. 

Responsibilities of Children (Deut 5: 16).  implies respect, obedience, and care for the Parents’ needs

- What example has Jesus left? Luke 2: 51.

- What two reasons did Apostle Paul give why Children should obey their Parents? Eph 6: 2-3, Col 3: 20). It will be well with you and you will live longer.

-What did he say about Children and Parents, Exodus 20: 12.

- How shall we develop a sense of responsibility? Lamentation 3: 27. The youths are naturally inclined to feel that not much responsibility, caretaking or burden bearing is expected of them, but upon every one rests the obligation to reach the Bible standards. The question: Who will now take their stand for God, determined to give His service the first place in their lives? Who will be burden bearers?     

II. A. ROLES OF A FATHER AS A SHEPHERD - LEAD, MENTOR, GUIDE, PROTECT, PASTOR OF HIS FAMILY

1. To Love and Care (watchful attention) for his Wife and Children, to love is to be committed, to sacrifice, forgiving, to treasure/cherish, to have great affection for, fatherly/ paternal love for the family. Father’s love to the family must be total, pure and sincere as Jesus loves the Church. John 15: 13; 1 John 4: 8; Psalms 103: 13; Col. 3: 21          Luke 11: 11-13. Donate your kidney/ blood to your wife/ child.

2. To Provide for the Needs of his Family, Eph 5: 21-25, by divine design, a father is to preside over his family in love and in righteousness and responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection. If H+W+C are sealed together in the temple and faithfully live the principles of the gospel, we can live together as eternal families in the celestial kingdom.

3. To Provide for the physical Needs of the Family, 1 Tim. 5: 8, the father should work at an honest job. We must teach our children to work. Budget Family resources in cooperation with his wife. H+W incomes belong to the entire family, financial needs are being met and the Lord will bless the home.

4. To Provide for the Spiritual Needs of the Family, Proverbs 22: 6, 3: 1-7, make your home a place that invites the Spirit of God to abide with you. Praise God together, read the bible together, render quality service to God in Church and in Fellowship. The family to walk in Spiritual agreement, Father can: --Teach the gospel to his W+C, later make a daily roster to have daily family prayers --Pay Tithes and Offerings to the Lord   -Hold worthwhile family evening meetings/ Altar. God’s will is found in God’s word.

5. To Discipline, his Children means to correct, punish bad behavior in love, in form of capital punishment, in words/ deep dialogue etc. Proverbs 13: 1, 24; 23: 13; 15: 5; 29: 15; 22: 15; 1 Tim.3: 2-5.

6. Instruct his Children, to give knowledge to, train, educate. Children need to be instructed from a young age about the Lord and to live by the Lord’s commands. Psalms 78: 2-8; Deut.4: 9; 31: 13; Eph. 6: 4.

7. Father’s role as an Overseer, he is God’s representative in his family and should be a model for other families. He draws up a family structure that defines the respective responsibilities of members. He has responsibilities from God to direct the course of the home, monitor and supervise its continuous functionality, 1 Tim. 3: 2-5.

 8. Father’s role as a Priest, 1 Tim. 2: 8-10; Lev. 6: 12-13; Gen. 18: 19. A family that prays together stays together. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. The family altar is one of the ways to entrench and continuously stir the presence of God, where members of the family gather to praise, worship, pray and share God’s word.

9. Father’s role as a Foundation, one of the most important parts of a building is the foundation, not the roof. God has designed the Father, as the foundation of the family to carry the spiritual, material, financial, emotional….weight of the family. He is therefore crucial to the success of the family structure. Any imbalance in the above will affect the family negatively. In all areas, fathers should consciously prepare in ensuring the proper functioning of the family structure. Identify the purpose of God for the family, Design together with the Family Vision and Mission.

10. Father’s role as a Leader, Eph. 5: 23-24. Leadership is measured by virtue of the impact, influence and the relevance made on someone or a group. The quality of a father can be seen in the goals --collective Vision the family is striving to achieve, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself but for the entire family. He must understand the way, define the way, go along the way and as well show the way as Christ does to His Church. It is important to note that it is not possible for the Father to show his children proper way unless he gives himself to God.

11. His role as a Teacher and Mentor, Proverbs 22: 6; 1: 8; 4: 1; Deut. 11: 18-21; 6: 6-7; 4: 9. Diligently teach them the word of God; teach them to be lovers of God, they will carry the presence of God. It has been said about Fathers that –the best way to secure your future is to invest time in your Children, your life is the most effective billboard for the expansion of God’s kingdom. Let your lifestyle be a mirror to them. Teach them day by day what it means to be children of God and to yield their will in obedience to Him and that obedience to God involves obedience to their parents. A family that holds regular meetings will ultimately procure peace, progress, and unity.

12. His role as a Worker, 2Thess. 3: 10; Deut. 8: 18; 1Tim. 5: 8; 1 Corinth. 7: 7; John 9: 4. Every true Father is a worker, both in his personal and in the collective vision of the family. Every man should discover his gifts and put them to work.                     A work is more than a job, your work encompasses the assignment God has purposed for you to fulfill on earth.

II. B. HOW PARENTS CAN BUILD A GODLY AND STRONG HOME

1. Go back to the Basics and Rebuild Yourselves: Gather together the scattered first old love affairs.

2. Need for attendance at Married Couples Conferences organized by Pentecostal Churches for exposure to home management approaches, family finance, children care.

3. Cordial and good relationships between Husband and Wife.

4. Establish a Holy Spirit filled Family Altar: Family devotion involving the active participation of all the family members, revival in the family altar, singing praise and worship songs.

5. Good fatherly and motherly Mentoring of the Children in the way of God---Moral values—respect for elders, avoid foul language, avoid unnecessary pampering, exhibit good eating habits - table manners, Godly associations.

6. Management of wearing materials—Shoes, Dresses.

7. Good Family Financial Management—Prudent use of available resources: Preparation of monthly/ periodic Family Budget as a roadmap for Salaries/ Incomes, Regular payment of Tithes and Offerings, Develop a lifestyle of Giving for your heavens to open, Expenditure items-Recurrent: Home facilities, Children school fees, Upkeep of Dependants-Parents, Savings, Capital projects-Family house, family business, family car…

8. Home Cleanliness involving all members of the family.

9. Upgrading your Educational status…Higher degrees, Professional examinations.

10. Every member of the family, as children of God, should be involved in things of God..Church activities…as a worker, Missions and Evangelism.

11. Family Health Management…avoidance of self-medication, consumption of healthy foods and drinks, eat fruits before the main food, take a glass of water while sitting immediately after morning devotion.

12. Agreed Purpose for the family: Vision and Mission of the family.

13. Develop some Family Virtues:

-Forgive and Forget concept for each other,

-Reconcile every disagreement on the spot,

-Re-dedication of your Marriage Vow. Confess to God any known sin/ offense as they relate to marriage vows…Psalm 76: 11

14. Ensuring good Human Relationships with Colleagues and Superiors, Church members, Neighbours around you and the Public at large.

III. PRACTICAL WAYS OF BUILDING STRONG FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

Our society thrives on strong families. Our families teach us how to function in the world. It should provide love and warmth to all of its members. A strong family gives its members the support they need to make it through life’s toughest spots or challenges.

i. ABC of a Happy and Godly Home

* Bear and Forbear (to control oneself when provoked, to be patient).

* Work together, play together, grow together.

* Avoid little quarrels- the big ones will take care of themselves

* Practice sympathy, good humour, and mutual understanding

* Compromise, it is the anti-toxin which destroys the poison of bitterness.

* Respect your in-laws, but do not give them criticism or take it from them.

* Establish your own home, even in a one-room flat.

* Build your home on Christian faith and never let a day close without a clean slate of forgiveness

* Only where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection.

ii. Strong families have good communication and to build strong family relationships, listen attentively to each other.

Strong families have open lines of communication -- where all family members feel heard and respected. One of the best ways to strengthen your family is to:

* Increase your listening skills and those of other family members. Until we can hear each other, we cannot build strong relationships.

* Give the person your full attention, turn off the TV or put down what you are doing.

* Focus on what the person is telling you -- rather than thinking about your reaction or response to what is being said, there will be time for response.

* Resist giving advice or your reaction until you are certain you have fully understood what the person was saying to you.

iii. Encourage all family members to share their thoughts and feelings.                  Strong families allow all family members - no matter how young or small - to talk about their thoughts and feelings. Everyone should be expected to express themselves in appropriate ways. When people feel heard and respected, they feel better about themselves and are more open to solving problems.

iv. Strong families spend time together. In today’s busy world, it can be difficult for families to find time to be together. All family relationships need attention. Family rituals can offer a set time for families to get together and give each other the attention needed. A family ritual is simply a time that is set aside on a regular basis for a family to get together. This can mean having dinner together, celebrating a holiday together, going to church together, or going for a walk together. It is important that the family ritual be predictable and that other activities are not allowed to upset it. It allows time for the family to get together, to share experiences with one another, and to reconnect with each other with you.

v. Every child is special and every child needs some special time when he can have his Parent all to himself.

Give your children some "special time" helps develop a close relationship with him or her. If you can make it a predictable ritual, your child can depend on it and look forward to this time with you. Be sure that this "special time" is not easily interrupted by other activities phone calls during this time. You could read books, sing songs, go for a walk, play a game or whatever your children enjoy. The more you are able to spend special time with your children the stronger your relationship will be.

vi. Look for opportunities to connect with your child. Although setting aside time with your child is important, also look for small moments that you can use to connect with your child. Researchers say that spending frequent, brief amounts of time as little as 1-2 minutes involved in child-preferred activities is one of the most powerful things parents can do. You can make up stories together while doing chores, talk about concerns while on the way to the grocery store, read a book together while waiting for dinner to finish. We often think we have to wait for our "special time" but all these small moments help us stay connected in between the more scheduled times.

 vii. Strong families handle their conflicts fairly. All families have conflicts, it is a natural part of human relationships. Strong families are able to work through things they disagree about by focusing on the problems, rather than by "tearing each other”

 viii. Keys to Fair Fighting

* Stay focused on the present problem. Do not bring up old issues and problems. These only distract from the present issue. You can discuss them later.

* Respect each other’s right to safety. Fights should never become violent. When people are so angry that they feel like hitting one another or throwing things, call for a timeout. Agree to get together to talk again after everyone has had a chance to calm down.

* Use your problem-solving skills to create new solutions to the problem and teach your kids to think of ways to resolve conflicts. It is not useful to fight about what is not working. Instead, focus on what has worked in the past or what could work now. For bedtime problems, you could say, "I am tired of always arguing with you about your bedtime. Let us come up with some new ways that you can get to bed without all this hassle." Then you and your child could think of some solutions and decide which one to try. The more you include your child, the better problem solver he will be and the more likely to follow through with the plan.

ix. Strong Families Develop Trust. Strong and healthy families recognize the importance of developing trust. Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. Some ways to develop trust in your family are:

* Give your child opportunities to earn your trust. Let him or her do small tasks around the house and praise her for doing it on her own.

* Show your child that you can be trusted. Children need to know that they can count on what their parents say. Follow through with the things you promise to do.

* Allow people in your family to make amends. We all make mistakes. Teach your children to forgive and allow yourself to forgive others.

* Teach everyone how to say “I am sorry.” Taking responsibility for our good and our bad behaviors are important and help to develop trust. People learn to trust that they can be loved even though they are not perfect.

x. Parents are both Coach and Conductor as keys to Building a Strong Family Parenting is a bit like these dual roles. We are both coach and conductor. A strong family is not just the sum of its parts. Like an orchestra, it has synergy when all work together. We build the individual and then we bring the group together in hopes of something more than just a collection of parts; we aspire for something beautiful. Here are a few keys to help us on this journey of coach and conductor.

 a. The Individual Coach – Support Your Child

* Give Your Time - In the busyness of day-to-day life, it is easy to make the bait and switch of quantity for quality. Of course they both matter, but the relationship and connection take time. It is in the context of a relationship that we can mentor, guide and affirm.  Time is a gift. It is a measurable expression of our willingness to invest in our children.

* Guard Their Time - It is not just our time that needs to be managed, but also our children’s. If we want strong families, we need to not over commit to activities and opportunities. Many families, mine included, struggle with competing schedules of multiple children involved in multiple activities. Saying yes to great experiences can sometimes result in little time or energy left over. Question your commitments and know your boundaries.

* Make Opportunities for One-on-One Time - Look for and make opportunities to have one-on-one time with your child. When they are younger it is a little easier to find activities. As they reach the teen years it sometimes can require creativity. Look to their interests for ideas, and ask them what they would like to do together. Pick them up for lunch, go see a movie or begin a project or hobby together, or whatever is the right fit for you and your child.

* Be Available - Be ready to talk or initiate when your children are open. Sometimes kids want to talk; other times they are not interested. When the door opens, be ready and give your undivided attention and listen. This means we put aside what we are doing, or stay up a little later than we like to hear what is on their mind.

* Express Affirmation - Affirm your child for who they are, not just what they do or accomplish. The world of school, sports and work are plenty competitive enough.     Smile at them, hug them, tell them they matter and that you like them as a person. Let us ensure our presence is the place they know they are cherished.

b. The Group Conductor – Build the Team

* Work Together - Take advantage of household chores.  You may complete the task faster than your child, but working together has multiple pay-offs: you get to be together, children learn valuable life skills, things get done, and everyone feels like a valuable contributor. Cook a meal, fold laundry, set the table, organize a closet, get rid of old toys together or ask them to do the job with a sibling. What time to plant the flowers or rake the leaves? Make it a family event where everyone is involved.

* Have Fun Together - Think back to the happiest times with your family. My guess is that they have to do with some kind of fun activity. Trips are wonderful, but playing together should not be only a yearly event – it should be a regular experience. Bike rides, a round of cards, games, heading out for ice cream.  Sharing playful experiences builds our family’s sense of collective identity and bonds us together in powerful ways.

* Eat Together - One of the most powerful family traditions is meal time. Meals activate all of our senses: sight, smell, taste, touch and listening to the voices of those dear to us. It is time to come together, pause, decompress and hear about what is going on in each other’s lives. Family meals provide a sense of unity and group identity. They also are a way to carry on family traditions such as a favorite dish on birthdays, certain foods to celebrate holidays or Sunday brunch.

* Celebrate Together - Emotions are contagious and building celebration into the fabric of our family fosters happiness. Strong families celebrate both the big wins and the small accomplishments of each other. They sit on the sidelines and cheer during sporting events, they make sure to take in performances, they high-five for passing the killer math test – they recognize milestones. Model celebration and encourage each family member to celebrate when others overcome obstacles and to support each other’s interests.                                                                                                                 * Evaluate Yourself - Continually self-evaluate. We often forget to stand back and assess our contribution and leadership as a parent. Where are my strengths? Where are my weaknesses? Do I treat my children with gentleness and respect? Do I hug and physically affirm my child? Do I have reasonable expectations? Do I say, “I am sorry” when I make a mistake?                                                                                                              * Creating a Caring Team - By focusing on the keys to building a strong family, we provide the opportunity for our children to reach their potential and the family unit to be a vibrant and caring place. Growing strong families is about creating a team, a group of people who function together. A group of people who need each other, appreciate each other and are willing to sacrifice for each other.

The family is the building block of society, yet today the traditional nuclear family is under attack. What does the Bible say about strengthening the family?

xi. BUDGETING PROCEDURE IN A CHRISTIAN FAMILY -  An important aspect of Family Financial Management is the preparation of Family Budget according to inflows/ incomes and outflows/ expenditure items. A family Budget is an intelligent forecast of income and expenditure for a given period of time, a month, a quarter, a six month period, a year etc. jointly prepared, articulated and coordinated by Daddy and Mummy and executed by all members of the family. A plan for expected income and expenditure being used as a guide or road map for spending to maintain the family (recurrent), capital project, savings etc. In a recession, there is always a cash squeeze….Gen. 41: 55-57; 47: 14-20; Gen. 26: 1-6 …Isaac sowed in the land… Gen. 26: 12-14, abundance for God’s elects.

Benefits of Budgeting in the Family:

-It helps to effectively organize spending and savings of the family resources

-It keeps you focused on the family goals

-It gives you control over the resources of the family.

-It is a means of communication between Daddy, Mummy and the Children.

-It helps in the evaluation of budget performance for necessary adjustment.

A typical Monthly/ Quarterly Family Budget includes the following:

a. God, my Creator:

  -Our Tithes to God...Malachi 3: 10-12

  -Offerings…Gen. 4: 3; Eph. 5: 2.

  -Missions and Evangelism

  -Other Church Commitments 

                         

b. Food and Food Related items:

  - Rice (local)

  -Gari

  -Vegetable oil (olive oil)  

  -Detergent for washing plates

  -Elubo ( Yam / Plantain powder

  -Palm oil

  -Detergent for washing clothes

  -Wheat powder (local)

  -Gas Refilling

  -Tea/ Beverages etc.                                                                        

  -Beans/ Moimoi/ Akara     -Bathing Soap

  -Pad (female)   -Indomie / Biscuits

  -Lumps of yam

  -Toothpaste/ Toothbrushes

  -Loaves of bread

  -Soup..varieties

  -Body & Hair creams

  -Hair-cutting/ Hair-do

  -Ogi/ Akamu

c. Daddy and Mummy:

  -Self-maintenance -Pocket Money etc.

d. Family Car(s)/ Generator /Others:

  -Fuelling of cars/ Servicing

  -Fuelling of Generator / Servicing

  -NEPA Recharge

  -Community security fee

  -DSTV Recharge

  -Sanitation fee ( Lawma )

e. Children:

   -Children upkeep

   -School fees

   -School Materials

f. Our Parents:       

   -Upkeep

   -Other Dependants

g. Capital Projects:                                                                                                           -Building a family house

   -Establishing a family business

   -Savings

IV. RAISING/ BUILDING A STRONG FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

1. THE GODLY FATHER - Whether in life or in memory, godly fathers teach and train how to live lives pleasing to our Heavenly Father. That’s why Father’s Day is so important. The letters F-A-T-H-E-R provide us with a good way to remember some characteristics of a godly father:

Be a Godly FATHER

F—Faithful. A godly father is faithful, honors his marriage vows, protects his children, and shows constant allegiance to his Heavenly Father. Abraham displayed his faithfulness when he, out of obedience to God. Hebrews 11: 6 tells us that God is faithful to reward those “…that diligently seek him.”

A—Affectionate. A godly father loves his children and shows it. But when a father shows affection to the family with a pure and sincere heart, he strengthens and unites the family. Affection instills faith and security in children.

T—Trusting. As a godly father teaches his children biblical principles and moral values by being an example for them to follow, he develops trust and faithfulness in his children. Trust between a father and his children generates happiness, hope, confidence, and security. The more children trust their father, the more confidence they have in trusting God.

H—Honorable. A godly father is honest and meets his obligations promptly. In doing so, he protects the integrity of his family’s name. And it has been said that what parents do in moderation, children will do in excess. As a godly father lives a life above reproach, he lays a path for his children to walk uprightly before the Lord.

E—Energetic. A godly father is not slothful or lazy. He provides for his family. Paul’s instructions to men in the treatment of wives would also apply to the treatment of the whole family. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave himself for it.” The godly father gives himself to his family. He spends energy on his children; he pays attention to them.

R—Rewarded. A godly father is rewarded. By raising his children in a godly manner, he is rewarded by seeing his children mature and achieve successes. What a joy it is to see your children hearing from God for themselves! It’s rewarding to see your children grow up and bless others with what they do! I challenge all fathers to be godly fathers. Your children are watching. People in your community, your neighborhood, and even in your Church, WE are watching YOU. There may be children around you who do not have natural fathers to look up to. Be an example for them. Be a godly father.

2. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE - With our busy schedules in this day and age, the home and family have become grossly neglected. We are so busy providing for our children and giving them life opportunities that we fail to realize that the greatest gift we can provide for them as parents is to truly love each other and to express that love for one another. I encourage you to read out loud daily the passage from the “love chapter, I Corinthians 13: 4–8, in and then practice what love is all about. Love is more than Words. I am sure you have heard the phrase, “Talk is cheap.” Words of love must be reinforced with actions. Love is something you do! We should certainly have romantic feelings for our spouse, but real love—agape, or the God–kind of love—relies not upon feeling, but upon action!  Love accepts many imperfections. Love does not demand perfection from one’s mate. But if you can not accept that person as is, do not marry him or her! And if you are married, quit trying to change your spouse. Love your mate for who he or she is. I and my Wife celebrated our 31st Wedding Anniversary on August 1st, 2018 and our love for each other has increased over the years instead of waning. "We will always be sweethearts" and it has been that way with us because we want it to be that way, and we work at it by the Mercy and Grace of God. Glory be to God! That is the way it should be. You should be more in love with your spouse now than when you were first married. Many couples in their later years living in the same house like strangers. That is not the way God intended marriage to be. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” It should be noted that man had direct communion with God, and yet God said that was not enough. So if you as a wife have ever questioned your value, you should realize what great value God places upon you! The Lord further commanded that as husband and wife we should cleave to each other and become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 states, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” We need each other, and we should be a vital part of our spouse’s life. If you are in the busy years of child-rearing, I want to encourage you as husband and wife to take some alone time with each other. It is important to keep that marriage foundation strong. It is your guarantee for the future; it will keep your marriage strong. For those who have found themselves in the predicament of living separate lives, I encourage you to renew your love for each other. Do the things you used to do to show your love for each other and to spark the passion in your relationship. Reignite the fire in your marriage and you will find yourselves falling in love all over again!


3. INSTRUCT YOUR CHILDREN IN THE WAYS OF GOD - A home is not only a place where a family lives; but it is also a training center, with the parents as the primary instructors. If you do not teach your children about God and His value system, most likely they will not follow after Him and His ways. But before any effective instruction can be given, a solid relationship must be developed between you and your children. To understand God’s intentions for the family, we must first go back to the Book of Beginnings- GENESIS 1: 26–28 (NIV)

In God’s plan for the family, He created a man and a woman and told them to “be fruitful.” In other words, He wanted them to have children and to establish a family. The family is important to God. In fact, He instituted and established the family before He established a government. And before He established the Church, God established the home. In the beginning, the home was where people were trained to walk with God. It is a place where parents are supposed to train their children in the ways of the Lord. Abraham is an example of a godly father who trained his children in the ways of the Lord. Later, on Mount Sinai, God instructed the Israelites on how to keep His ways:  DEUTERONOMY 6: 6–7, according to this passage, if we want to keep God’s ways, we must impress God’s commands upon our hearts and upon the hearts of our children. How do we do that? Verse 7 says we are to talk about God’s commands throughout our everyday life. The Bible is God’s textbook for His value system. In it, we learn everything about life, godliness, and character - 2 Peter 1: 3. It shows us how to live a happy, more abundant life - John 10:10. Contrary to what some parents believe, it is not the local Church’s responsibility alone to build character in their children or to train their children in the things of God. Every parent has the responsibility to teach his and her own children, and the primary training takes place in the home. The relationship is the best Foundation for Instruction - God wants us to impress His ways upon our children by talking to them about God when we are at home, when we walk along the road and when we are driving in the car. We are also to talk to our children about God when they wake up and when they go to sleep…Joshua 1: 8 n other words, we are to talk to our children about God all the time. Some parents only set aside a short period of time each day to give their kids a Bible lesson—usually a short devotional before bedtime. God wants us to use every opportunity throughout the day to instruct our children in the ways of the Lord.
Instruction is primarily done in two ways: By what you SAY and by what you DO. Children are products of their environment. They will do what they see you doing, in spite of what you say to them. By that I mean, if you say one thing but do something else, they will follow your actions, not your words. For example, if your children are yelling at each other and you tell them to sit down and talk things out, they won’t heed your instructions if they have consistently observed you and your spouse yelling at each other instead of calm talking. Unfortunately, too many parents teach by the philosophy, “Do as I say but not as I do.” This philosophy sends the children mixed messages.


The following Poem by Dorothy Law Nolte accurately illustrates how Children learn: 
If children live with Criticism, they learn to Condemn, …..live with Hostility, they learn to Fight.
If children live with Fear, they learn to be Apprehensive.
If children live with Pity, they learn to feel Sorry for themselves.
If children live with Ridicule, they learn to feel Shy,..live with Jealousy, they learn to feel Envy.
If children live with Shame, they learn to feel Guilty.
If children live with Encouragement, they learn Confidence.
If children live with Tolerance, they learn Patience, ….live with Praise, they learn Appreciation.
If children live with Acceptance, they learn to Love,….live with Sharing, they learn Generosity.
If children live with Approval, they learn to Like themselves.
If children live with Recognition, they learn it is good to have a Goal.
If children live with Honesty, they learn Truthfulness,…..live with Fairness, they learn Justice.
If children live with Kindness and Consideration, they learn Respect.
If children live with Security, they learn to have Faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with Friendliness, they learn the world is a Nice place in which to live.

A man of integrity, Teaches integrity to his children and to his grandchildren—not only with his words but also with his actions. If I give you my word on something, you can count on it being done. A living example is the best way to teach godly principles and pass them down from generation to generation. Unfortunately, in Nigeria today, we are vastly lacking in character and integrity. And this is because godly principles are not being taught and practiced in the home. When you do not instill God’s values and principles in your home, your children will fall under the influence of what they hear on the radio, what they see on television and what they read in magazines. Instead of being influenced by you, your children will be influenced by their friends and by the world’s value system.

Teaching your children starts at an early age. And it begins by first developing a relationship with them. Relationships are developed by spending time with your children. A strong relationship is built by your being interested in what your kids are interested in. And you can not wait until your children are older to begin developing a relationship. You must start the moment you bring them home from the hospital at birth. When your kids are a priority in your life and you make time for them and let them know how much you love and appreciate them, you will be able to talk to them about anything. Then when it comes time for you to discipline them or steer them in a godly direction, they will be more inclined to listen to what you have to say rather than rebel against your advice and correction. But if you just establish a set of rules in your house without first developing a relationship with your children, your children will rebel instead of following after the ways of God.

The relationship is the best foundation for instruction. With the relationship, you can influence your children and also their children and their children’s children. Like Abraham, you will have generation after generation of descendants who walk in the ways of God, Amen.


4. TRAIN UP YOUR CHILD -Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” How do you train a child? Establish a relationship with the child. Unfortunately, we are living in a society today in which parents allow everyone else to train their children. Time is very limited in our daily routine, but Parents, it is so important to take time to develop strong relationships with your children. Enjoy every stage of your child’s life, you want your child to get to the next stage of life in order to experience that adventure. However, every stage is very precious so enjoy it! A child’s basic behavioral patterns are established by the age of three. As a parent, how extremely important it is to spend valuable time with your child at a young age. Spend time with your children means participating in activities with them.

It was a fun time just to be together and enjoy each other’s fellowship. Of course, we always had daily devotions with our children. When they were young, we read Bible stories together. As they grew older, we began to read the devotional published by our Ministry, “Faith Food, Open Heavens, Daily Manner, etc” As the children became teenagers, we began reading the One-Year Bible together. It is great to know that our children are getting a foundation of the Word of God on a daily basis. We make our confessions of faith daily. It was exciting when the children saw those confessions become realities in their life. It taught them the importance of trusting God in every circumstance of life. Never express shock at anything your children may tell you. I found that if I expressed shock at the information my children gave me, I would shut the door of communication with them. Although at times, you may want to react to that information, stay calm and allow the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom in what to say and do in each situation you encounter. Your children are only under your wing for a short period of time. Value that time and develop a lasting relationship with them.

It is Important that You and Your Spouse Become Best Friends
Another relationship that is important to develop is the relationship with your spouse. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.” Becoming one flesh is more than a physical relationship. Becoming one means becoming soul mates—being best friends! Someone asked a question, “How have you been happily married for so many years?  “It is easy,” was the reply, “because I married my best friend. It is so important that you and your spouse become best friends. How is that possible? Through communication with each other. Communication takes time and practice. Often we stop communicating because we can not seem to get our point across. Other times, we are so busy in our daily duties that there does not seem to be enough time to communicate with each other. Couples are encouraged to have a date night on a weekly basis, if possible . . . or at least once every two weeks or a month. This is a time for you to just enjoy each other’s company without the interruption of children, home, or work. It is a time for you to communicate about any problems that you may be experiencing in your life or with each other. Misunderstandings can become mountains if you do not begin to tear them down before walls are built. The enemy is working overtime in the lives of Christians to destroy homes and marriages. Do not allow the enemy to play havoc in your life and home. Concentrate on working on the relationships in your life. Communication is the key to building strong relationships. In developing communication skills, remember Ephesians 4: 29, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”


5. A TRIBUTE TO MOTHER (a true confession)– It has been said that a mother’s heart is the child’s classroom. I thank God for all that my mom has taught me through the years. She is a portrait of a godly mother and I am proud to be her son. Few things I learned from my mother that have influenced me greatly.

You can reflect and remember things your own mother taught you. I pray that all parents can learn from my mom’s example and impart these same truths to their children. Mom taught me the importance of having a relationship with God.    She told me, “Son, without God, you are nothing. Oh, you may run fast. And you may make good grades and do a lot of things. But He is everything you need. You are nothing without Him.” There is not anything more important for a mother to teach her children than to teach them how to have a relationship with God.  Mom taught me how to endure. She told me never to quit—no matter what. Growing up, we endured some hard times, but through my mom’s example of endurance, we learned to keep going even in the hard times. I witnessed my mom’s constant devotion to and love for my dad. My mom never complained. Everything in our lives and ministries today came from those small beginnings. Now we can testify to the truth that obedience has its rewards! If we will obey God and endure hardship like a good soldier 2 Timothy 2:3, there will be ample reward. Mom taught me to be faithful, from the beginning of their marriage, Mom and Dad consecrated themselves to do the will of God. I learned from their example. I learned that you do whatever needs to be done to obey God—no matter what the cost. Mom taught me something else about endurance. Do not magnify the sacrifice; only magnify God’s grace. God is our Source, and if we will endure, we will find victory on the other side of this black cloud. If I start anything, I strive to be faithful to complete it. If I give my word, I am faithful to keep it. Mom taught us to be faithful to our word and to be faithful to God and His Word. The God Who calls is the God Who will fulfill our every dream and meet our every need. Mom taught me to minister to the needs of others. Even when we did not have enough, she still gave to others who were more in need than we were. She was so kind and generous to everyone. These are just a few of the things I have learned from my mom. I pray that these are truths you can use to teach your own children and others as well. And I believe that if you will teach your children these same godly principles, you will see good results in the end.


6. DO’s AND DON’Ts - Ephesians 6:4 instructs, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Here are some pointers to help.

Don’ts
*Do not overprotect your children. You cannot protect your children from everything. It is inevitable that they will experience some scrapes in life.
*Do not under-protect your children. Children need structure to have a sense of security. Begin by implementing “house rules.” *Do not compare your children with others. Every child is different and has his or her own potential. Allow each of your children to develop his or her uniqueness.                             

Do’s
 *Do listen to what your kids have to say. Your children have good ideas. When you listen to them, you are building their self-esteem and worth.
*Do praise your children. Everyone needs affirmation, no matter how young or old.
*Do spend time with your kids. Relationships are not built over the phone. Get involved in your children’s lives. Nothing spells “love” better than time spent with each other.

                                                 

7. THE THREE ‘Cs’ OF FATHERHOOD - In I Chronicles 28: 20, David gave some final words of advice to his son, Solomon, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished” These were some of the last words David spoke to his son Solomon. In this, we can see David’s heart—his heart for God and his heart for his son. As David spoke, he demonstrated the three “Cs” of fatherhood: Conviction, Courage, and Compassion. Today, centuries of time separate us from King David, but we can still learn much about fatherhood by looking at this godly father. We know that David was a man of deep spiritual Conviction. But today, we are a society with little godly conviction. Men who are without conviction in spiritual matters are praised and emulated because of their celebrity status. They are upheld as role models, even though they lack godly character.

Today, more than ever, we need a generation of fathers like David who possess the courage to speak boldly about their spiritual convictions, in spite of the corrupt moral current of society. Yes, David made some serious mistakes. But he was godly in that he was quick to repent before God, correct his mistakes, and then head in the right direction. That is why God called him a man after His own heart Acts 13:22. David’s children and other family members knew about his sins and failures. But David never turned away from God. He continued to serve God in spite of his shortcomings, showing his children that God’s love and forgiveness will take you through. His lifestyle demonstrated a great deal of conviction and courage. The Spiritual well-being of our Children today and of our Nation, tomorrow depends on you - David was also a man of great Compassion. His words were filled with kindness when he spoke to Solomon in 1 Chronicles 28: 20-21. He was a shepherd boy who became a successful soldier and later, a proficient administrator and an admired king. David was immensely successful in everything he did. Yet, he was still an extremely devoted father. He fasted and prayed fervently for the deliverance of the first son born to him and Bathsheba. Then he fought fiercely to save the life of another son, Absalom, even though Absalom sought to kill his father and take over the kingdom. To David, his family outweighed all of his past achievements and present status, because he was such a man of compassion.  Sadly, many men today give up their success as a father for success in their job or profession. Though they are willing to work long hours to meet the physical needs of their children, many fathers today are unwilling to make the sacrifices necessary for their children’s emotional well-being. David’s godly legacy has continued to this day. What about you? Will you, as a father, demonstrate conviction, courage, and compassion to your children so they can pass on and ensure godly character for future generations? The spiritual well-being of our children today, and of our nation tomorrow, depends on you.  The godly example that you display will point your children—and their children after them—in the right direction in life and guide them on paths of happiness and success.

8. WANT TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE? - When people need advice in any area of life, they can turn to the Bible for Godly answers. What does the Bible say about marriage? What makes a marriage work? God created the institution of marriage in His creation of the first man and woman, Adam and Eve. Having a great marriage begins with how we accept, receive, and act on what is in God’s Word about this holy institution of marriage. First, our personal relationship with God must be strong for our marriage relationship to be strong. In order to develop and maintain a godly marriage, we must develop and maintain a close relationship with God. His Word must be the final authority in our lives if we are to enjoy the success that He intends for us. GENESIS 2: 18, 22–24, God originally created man with the ability and the need for relationships. First, man had a relationship with God Himself. But God said that was not enough for man. Man was also designed to have a marriage relationship. Man had an ideal environment in the Garden of Eden. His every material need was supplied. He was secure and protected. Yet in the midst of his ideal environment, Adam needed help. God created woman to dwell alongside man and be his lifelong helper, companion, partner, and counterpart.

Open and loving communication is the key to a healthy marriage. A healthy marriage relationship is one in which you are both able to be truthful with each other without the other becoming offended. God gave us a spouse to help us make good decisions and to give us godly counsel. That is why Adam and Eve should have communicated better with each other. If we are to learn from their mistakes, we must learn how to effectively communicate with our spouse.

You must bind together with your mate to protect your union against anything that tries to come against it. Just as the serpent tempted Eve, there may be people who will try to entice you or your spouse, but if you have good, honest communication, you can talk to each other about it and handle the situation together.

Another lesson we can learn from Adam and Eve is in the area of blame–shifting. It will help our marriage greatly if when we make a mistake, we admit it and take responsibility for it. When God asked Adam if he had eaten from the tree, Adam told God. It was the woman You gave me” Gen. 3:12. But I really believe that if they had communicated properly with one another, they would have come up with a better idea than that of eating the fruit and then shifting blame. We are not without help in developing and maintaining a godly marriage. God created the institution of marriage, and His Word gives us ample instructions for the marriage relationship.

EPHESIANS 5:21–33, This passage shows the proper marriage relationship—one in which both husband and wife are submitted to God and to each other. It is true that the wife is to submit or give respect, to her own husband as the Church is submitted to Christ. It is also true that the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. How much does Christ love the Church?
Christ loved the Church so much that He gave His life for her.

In the marriage relationship, there must be a head or a leader. God has designated the man, the husband, to be the leader of the marriage relationship and the family. The husband is not to dominate as a dictator over the household. Submission is not forced. Christ never demands submission from the Church. The husband is not to force his wife into submission; rather, he is to lead her in such a way that submission becomes a choice she gladly makes.

We can learn from the mistakes Adam and Eve made in the areas of communication and blame–shifting. As husbands and wives work together in unity and harmony with God, marriages will be the “Heaven on earth” they were meant to be.

9. RAISING A STRONG FAMILY - Raising children is a calling in itself. And there are many challenges involved.
Sacrifices: The hard times were never greater than God's grace for us. And we taught our children that it is wonderful to serve God. He is faithful.
Spiritual and Natural Training: Parents put in their best to raise children according to the Word of God and from the time teach them about their Heavenly Father. Children need to be taught how to live the Christian life, and they need to learn how to believe God's Word for themselves. I would put them to work helping me wash and dry the dishes. Children should be taught how to handle responsibility because that builds confidence in them. And they need to be prepared to get out on their own when they grow up.
Set the Example: I think one reason some children are disobedient and rebellious is, they don't see the right example set in the home. They don't see the God-kind of love demonstrated by their parents. If a husband and wife do not show love to each other, how can they expect their children to show love to others? And children need affection too. It's a sad thing for children to be raised in a home where no love and affection is shown.
You Can Be Successful: Raising children is a big responsibility, but with the Lord to help you, you can be successful. There may be sacrifices you will have to make, but whatever you do, do not sacrifice the well-being of your children. Any sacrifice you make is not too great a price to pay to be sure they have the best life possible. I have found that if you let Jesus guide your life, and walk closely with Him, you will set the right example for your children, and things will go well for you and your family. But life is just so much sweeter when you are walking closely with the Lord, loving Him and doing what He wants you to do. And life will be sweeter for your family too!

10. A FATHER’S HEART - Luke 15:11–24 tells the story of what is known as the Prodigal son. It is a story of a selfish, rebellious young man who acted in disobedience toward his father. Most Christians have heard a lot of teaching on the prodigal son but I want to talk about the father in this familiar passage. I want to look at his heart, his attitude and actions toward his son. Number one, the father believed in his son—that was evident in the generosity he showed to him. The father believed enough in his son that he was willing to give his son the inheritance that belonged to him. A good father believes in his children, no matter what they do—even when they wander onto the wrong path. Often young people will go through seasons in life when they feel mixed up about life. Fathers must believe in their kids. Fathers need to express joy in their Children - Fathers must show compassion toward their children. Sometimes children won’t do everything we want them to do. Even when they’re adults, they may still make mistakes. But we need to have compassion for them. Our children need to be loved all the time.

The father in Luke 15 showed his compassion to his prodigal son by the way he treated him when he finally returned home. His son had done him a great disservice! The father would have been “justified” to turn his back on him, but the father chose to show him compassion—no matter what. Finally, fathers need to express joy in their children. Fathers should rejoice over their kids—make a big deal of their achievements and successes. They should make their children feel important and special in their eyes. Show them that you’re proud of them and that they bring you joy. When you do this, you will inspire them and bring out the best in them. In the discovery of a good father’s heart, we discover the heart of our Heavenly Father. He believes in us, He has compassion on us, and He expresses great joy over us. Matthew 7:9–11 says that our Heavenly Father gives good gifts to those who ask Him even more than a natural father would give good gifts to his children! If you have run away from the Heavenly Father, He is watching and waiting for your return. He will run to meet you if you will return to Him. Let’s purpose in our heart to honor our natural fathers, and, as fathers, to honor our natural children. We can do that by first honoring our Heavenly Father—by imitating Him as dearly loved children (Eph. 5:1 NIV) and by then treating our children the same way the Father God treats us.

11. A MOTHER’S FAITH - In 1914, President Woodrow Wilson officially proclaimed Mother’s Day a national holiday to be held on the second Sunday of May. Read what other U.S. presidents have said about their mothers.  “All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all of my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her” (George Washington). “All that I am or hope to be I owe to my angel mother. I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life” (Abraham Lincoln). “From my mother, I learned the value of prayer, how to have dreams and believe I could make them come true” (Ronald Reagan). George W. Bush said, “Mothers are central to the success of the American family. Their love, dedication, and wisdom touch countless lives every day in every community throughout our land.”  Thank God for mothers. I want to recognize three things that can happen when a mother places her faith in the promises of God.  Number one, a mother’s faith can bring heaven to earth. A Mother’s influence on her Children is far greater than even she may realize Luke chapter 1 tells the story of Mary’s faith bringing to pass God’s promise of a Messiah. I think one reason Mary was chosen was that she would believe what God told her. Notice her response to the angel when she was told she would conceive a child by the Holy Ghost who would be the Savior of the world. She said, “May it be to me as you have said” (v. 38). Mary’s faith literally brought heaven to earth, but when any mother lives by faith in God, there will be “heaven on earth.” Children may be surrounded by humanist ideas, hatred, or even violence throughout their day, but when they come home to a godly mother, they can experience a little heaven on earth. Dad may be at work all day, striving to succeed in our competitive society, but when he comes home to a godly wife, he can experience a little heaven on earth. Mothers have the privilege of bringing new life into the world, but they are also uniquely equipped to nurture and help a child grow. A mother’s influence on her children is far greater than even she may realize.

I want to encourage you to keep up the good work. Your faith is more powerful than you think! A mother’s faith can change circumstances in life.  A mother’s faith can propel children to do things they never thought possible. That is why it is so important for moms to believe in their children and speak positive, faith-filled words over them.
Did you know that if it had not been for a mother, we may not have electric lights today! When Thomas Edison was a young boy, his teacher sent him home with a note that said, “Your child is dumb; we can’t do anything for him.” Mrs. Edison wrote back, “You do not understand my boy. I will teach him myself.” She did—and the results were world-changing! Where would we be without the love, prayers, and support of our mothers? I encourage you to take time to thank your mother for her faith—the faith that brings heaven to earth gives you a godly legacy and changes your circumstances for the better.

12. LEARNING LESSONS FROM OUR CHILDREN - Children are a wonderful gift from God. Psalm 127:3 says, “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Children have always been so special. I have always loved to teach children, especially the pre-school age. The hearts of children are so open unto the things of God. I encourage you to get involved in volunteering with children in our Church. Even the disciples misunderstood the value of children, Mark 10:13–16 “People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’ And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.” Children easily believe the words that you speak. Jesus was impressing upon His disciples the importance of adults accepting the promises of God by simple faith just as children do. Children live every day on a level of trust and faith in someone’s words and actions. They believe that their parents will provide shelter, food, and clothing for them. Faith comes very naturally for Children We need to take a lesson from our children. Mark 11:22–24 ‘Have faith in God,’ Jesus answered. ‘I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “Go, throw yourself into the sea,” and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. I like what the NIV says: “believe that you have received it.” And so it is with the things of God—once you ask in faith, believe that you have received them. The manifestation may not materialize immediately. But continue to believe, hold fast to your confession of faith, never doubt the promises of God, and it will come to pass.

13. NEVER TOO YOUNG TO KNOW GOD! Early Childhood Development and Education, ‘When you take the natural and the supernatural and put them together, it makes an explosive force for God,’  “That’s exactly what the Lord laid on my heart—to take the natural things I learned in College and combine it with Spiritual principles to make an explosive force for Children!” Vision for Children’s Ministry is clearly about more than just teaching Bible characters and selected topics; it is about incorporating God into every aspect of a Child’s life.

Children need to learn How to minister right now not when they are Adults                                                                                                                                 “The spiritual foundation comes first and foremost, it is equally important to help them develop socially, mentally, emotionally, and physically. In essence, I want to teach children how to experience God 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.” Children have a vital role in the end-time revival! They are not too young to be taught how to minister to people around them: friends, siblings, and even their parents and teachers. Children need to learn how to minister right now, not when they are adults. They have incredible faith, they believe whatever you tell them, and they do not doubt God’s Word. We need to take kids to the next level spiritually. Kids today are maturing faster and we need to teach them about prayer, faith, healing, and the Holy Spirit—breaking it down at their level. They need to be equipped to go out into their world and minister!” The most important ministry your child will receive is at home.
Parents, you are the greatest teachers and examples of the Word of God. It is vital that you make God a priority in your home. Have devotional time with your children; let them see you praying and reading the Word. Bring the family together to pray about different situations and ask your kids to do the praying! It will build their faith and confidence. A scripture passage that inspires about ministering to children is Matthew 18:1-4. It shows clearly how Jesus Himself felt about children. These verses represent so much, It expresses how important children are to God and it shows the incredible faith of children—incredible enough that they could be considered greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven. Children simply need parents and other positive influences to teach them how to use their faith for God’s glory! They can know and serve God right now—no matter how young they may be!

14. TALK TO ME  - One thing that can cause a lot of problems in marriages is lack of communication. People have different personalities and ways of communicating. Get to the Point, Sweetheart!

 Most women feel they have to tell every detail of a situation in their conversations. But men usually just like to hear the bottom line. Women need to understand that most men do not want to hear all the whys. On the other hand, husbands can learn to be a little more patient and listen when their wives are trying to tell them something. Wedges That Divide                                                                                                                               Constant communication will end disputes and take our marriages to the next level. But when we stop talking to each other, we take the first step toward growing apart. The wife begins to do her thing and the husband does his thing. Eventually, all communication stops. But all of us can get to the point in our marriages where we can say what we think and work through any situation that may come up.

 Two ways to keep the lines of communication open:
i. Listen with our mouths shut. We need to hear our spouses out and then respond. Many times we are so busy figuring out how we are going to respond that we do not hear everything that the other person said. And then we end up responding inappropriately.
                                                                      

ii. Respond assertively instead of aggressively.
Aggressive attacks call for retaliation. But instead of being aggressive, we can be assertive by using words like "I feel" instead of words like "you never" and "you are so. "Feelings” If our spouses are going to feel safe to share their true feelings, we can not slap them down with our words when they tell us how they feel. Blowups can be avoided when we learn how to express our feelings properly. Marriage is teamwork and communication plays an important role for any team to work.

But as we learn to communicate with our spouses and express our feelings the right way, we will build stronger and happier marriages that last.

V. CONCLUSION

Summary:  Building Strong Family Relationships
i. Our society thrives on strong families.
ii. Strong families have good communication.

iii. To build strong family relationships, listen actively to each other. 

iv. Encourage all family members to share their thoughts and feelings.

Strong families spend time together.

People also ask: How do you build a better family relationship? How do you strengthen family relationships? What is a strong family? What are the qualities of a strong family?

JESUS is needed in every home, only this can prevent the grievous wrongs which so often embitter married lives. Only where CHRIST reigns, can there be deep, true and unselfish love. The soul will be knit with souls and lives will blend in harmony. A home where love and sound family relationships dwell and where it finds expression in looks, in words, in acts is a place where Angels of God delight to dwell as guests. Having somewhere to go is HOME, Having someone to Love is FAMILY, Having both is a BLESSING.

OUR HOMES ARE BLESSED IN JESUS’ NAME!