THEME: THE GODLY FAMILY (GEN 18:19)

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TOPIC:   LIFE TIME LOVE RELATIONSHIP
TEXT: GEN 26:8-11; EXO 24:15; MATT 19:4-6: ROM 12:2; 15:5   
TEACHER: PASTOR SAMSON ADEYIGA                                             
                                                                                                          DATE: 25/10/2016
                                                                                                     STUDY NO. 4
                                                                                                                             FGCFZHQ/BSC/0004

INTRODUCTION
In your marriage, like in any other, the seed of success are already present but, realistically, so are the seeds of failure. The choice really boils down to which seeds you are going to feed, water, and cultivate. In most cases, beautiful marriages are the result of long series of right choices you’ve made along the way, and miserable marriages are the result of a long series of poor choices you’ve made. Gen 8:22.

A. WHERE IT ALL BEGAN
·         Fellowship/friendship
·         Seeking, knowing/finding the will of God
·         Proposal/subsequent consent
·         Courtship proper/Dowry
·         Wedding ceremony – Marriage. Gen 24:67

What happened to love after the wedding?
We live in a fast-paced self-centered culture, so the real work required to keep love alive in our marriage is often ignored. A knowledge of the phases of family life details how our lives are possibly lived out once in marriage. Gen 25:19-34
1.      The Honeymoon years – What did we do? What are/were your experiences?
2.      The child bearing years – rapid transition, an invasion? Did any father feel displaced? Was there any over-attachment? A very draining period for both parents.
3.      The child – Rearing years – Rise in job related stress, great need for finances. Great need to help shape the way of the children. The child is exposed to external forces – teachers, the internet, peers; friends and bullies.
4.      The child – launching years – They leave for high school / university. Begin to find love outside the home.
5.      The Empty – Nest years – Ha! These people are gone. Now it is just the two of you again. How you have been growing / ageing together gracefully or terribly apart over the years will determine what this phase will look like for both of you.
6.      The Alone Years –

B.  GROWING & MATURING TOGETHER – Eph. 4:14-16; Heb. 5:12-14; 1Cor. 13:11
    Developing ability to take responsibility and be accountable. The place of maturity cannot be over-    emphasized if couples will be able to go through these above listed phases without burn out. Maturity is not about the age or physique.
      Spiritual Maturity 
Our upward / vertical personal relationship with God has such a great influence on how we handle our   horizontal relationship(s).
-          Every one of us is as close to God as we have chosen – Ex 24:9-15; Ex 33:11
-          Genuineness of the new birth – 2 Cor 5:17
-          Consistent Christian living, Conduct and service – 1 Tim 4:12
-          Understanding and living by God’s principle on marriage – Gen 2:24-25, Matt 19:4-6; Rom 12:2

     Physical Maturity
-          Boys & Girls do not marry, only adults do.
-          Issues of love relationship are so deep rooted that it takes being an adult to be able to understand it and handle it properly.

     Emotional / Psychological Maturity
-          Courage to face your fears and challenges.
-          Developing gracious ability to handle anger and put pride and ego under your feet.
-          Relating with your spouse without prejudice.


     Financial Maturity
-          Money matters, how are you handling it?

C.  COMMITMENT TO LIFETIME LOVE RELATIONSHIP IN MARRIAGE
      A lifetime love relationship in marriage is a call to long term work which couples can never. Outgrow, Affection, intimacy, Kindness and consideration are important components of every love relationship.
               i.     Define your priorities.
             ii.     Do the real work of keeping love alive. Song 4:1-11
a.       Recall His needs, her needs. Knowing that men and women are different, and their needs are different, you would need to give your spouse what he/she would like to receive.
b.      Make it an everyday thing, do something nice to your spouse each day.
c.       Take care of you – 1 Pet 3:3-5
d.      The Rebecca and Isaac Episode – Gen 26:8
           iii.     Continuous friendship is built around shared experiences and share memories. Create fresh experiences and memories as you have time of humour and fun together. Don’t take life too seriously.
           iv.     Be more flexible and show understanding with the one who should mean the most to you – your spouse – 1 Pet 3:8-9
             v.     Protect your marriage. Enjoy who and what you have, keep working at it to make it get better. Is the grass greener on the other side? John 3:12; Prov 5:15-18.

D.  PAY-OFF (GAINS) OF LIFETIME LOVE RELATIONSHIP IN MARRIAGE
-          Feeling of Satisfaction, love and not feeling used.
-          Divine rest/peace – Longevity
-          Goodly Heritage
-          Power, influence and respect – Prov 31

E.  THE REMEDY – START ALL OVER AGAIN
-          Bring courtship back into marriage.

CONCLUSION
Great marriages do not just happen by luck or accident. They are the result of consistent investments with rock solid commitment between husband and wife. With God and you it is possible, with God and you, you can, with God and you, you will.

May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus, Amen – Rom 15:5(NLT)

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